so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
