This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
