Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
