The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
