I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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