The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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