oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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