I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
