I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
