is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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