He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you would pick up someone in the library
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
