Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
