What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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