Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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