So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
