I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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