i just made my gag reflex go away.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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