Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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