she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
