i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
