...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
