remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
