I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
