Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
