In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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