as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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