My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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