"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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