I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
