It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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