His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
