you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
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It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
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If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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