Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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