Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
