you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
