Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
