Can Purell be used as lube?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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