just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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