I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
