Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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