Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
