What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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