This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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