i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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