I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
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his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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