There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
