Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
