I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
