I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I stole a fireplace last night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
