he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
ok first of all what the fuck
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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