thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
