I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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