Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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