I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
