When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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