If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
