I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
