and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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