i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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