He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
