I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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