We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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