Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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