everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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