I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
