oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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